Reasons Why We're Single

When feeling lost in life, I look to my horoscope for guidance.

I think I’m in love because you have the complete set of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle shot glasses.

One of my cheesy, yet successful, pick up lines: “So…you wanna get outta here?”

I still believe a PB & J sandwich is one of the best sandwiches in the world!

As a pet owner, I expect acknowledgement on mother’s day.  

I tell my date that I’m reading Anne Boleyn biographies for fun.

Some days, I truly believe I have reached the end of the internet.

Like that bad YouTube video, I’ve been broken up with via text message.

I actively sought out John Waters’ films as a teenager and loved every depraved second of them.  

I covet my collection of VHS tapes and plan to expand in the future.